Moving On

I meet a lot of people in transit, moving/on their way to a new place. The road warriors who spend their work periods in hotels are not a new phenomenon. Nor are the movers a new fad. What has seemed to change is the increase of distances traveled and drastic moves due to jobs.

Growing up, it seemed every six years we would find ourselves relocating due to my father's job. I still to this day get an urge to move at that same time period. I enjoyed this moving trend. It was hard at moments to release the old life and start a new one. Keeping in touch and new life in old relationships is still a struggle. Technology (and facebook) to combat this problem. However, the chance to wipe the slate clean or experience something new holds great appeal. Home has been more related to my strongest and intense ties. Home has also revolved around those in my life, especially family. With the spread of immediate family and the death of my mother, home has held far less meaning for me in the last few years. If I were pressed, I could not actually tell you where home truly is for me anymore. This, however, is not the point of this blog, merely a related rabbit trail.

What is the direction is people's reactions to the upheavel caused by these drastic moves. The last family move I was the last to leave town, not by much. I made it a little longer than 6 years there. I moved plenty during those years though. It seemd the last 5 or so years I moved into different homes for one reason or another. I added roommates, subtracted roommates, changed roommates entirely, lived in a duplex, a house, a trailer, an apartment, the dorms, and the family house for a while. I dreaded moving after a while. Across town or across the country, moving can be a taxing business. You commit upheavel to your home and your life. Status quo is unsettled. This process isn't necessairily always bad. It can be quite good, in fact, to reexamine your world periodically. When set out for a new town and state, I landed in my present home and haven't moved. I can honestly say it feels so good. Who I lived with may have changed, but I haven't had to pack up and move across town in a couple of years now.

I waxed eloquent to basically say that I get the upheavel that comes with changing your home, the base of your life, so often whether it be across town or across the country. Moving has almost become expected with jobs these days. Companies relocating bases and eliminating office locations not only adds to personal stability with moves but also with the uncertainty of what lies down the road. A sense of adventure is certainly required to go through these situations with faith and a sense of humor.

As a single person, a major move wouldn't bother me at this point. I am even thinking about moving countries in a year or two. My roots are not planted here, nor were there ever plans to plant my roots here. This has always been a short stop along my life, my "blessed desert." When I see others who are leaving what they know for the unknown, my heart goes out to them. It is a whole different thing to have established a life you enjoy and be forced to leave it. There is joy in the journey no matter how gray the sky is. The whole cloud isn't black and angry. You just may not be able to see the white bits from your perspective. The death of a place/people/life that you have planted your roots in is something to be mourned though. Of course, you can never go back to how it was. Everything happens for a reason. I guess the key is to appreciate every moment.

I don't have some large, important moral to this story. Today you get more of my random musings of life observed. Find joy and solace in your world today and bless someone else who crosses your path.

Lessons From The Fish Tank

I noticed my fish tank pump sound like it was having issues yesterday. My fish just got more fresh water this week, so I wasn't sure what was the problem. It turns out that they needed a new filter. Since I was apparently out of back-up filters, I tried to make do with the current one for one more day. It just didn't work though. The filter was unrecoverable. This got me to thinking about my life.

Lesson #1 - Is your filter clogged?

Our perception of life colors every element of our lives, often overriding the more logical elements like solid facts. When we are using an worn out or out-of-date filter, you aren't able to perceive life for all the potential it holds. Sometimes, the filter just doesn't fit our pump (heart) anymore. As we add or remove things/feelings/thoughts in our lives, the space in our heart and our consciousness can change its shape to accomodate these changes. Holes fill up. Dead weight reveals new frontiers to explore. Long-bolted doors reveal contents waiting to explode like an overstuffed closet. Our hearts like the pump on my fish tank need the filter to be changed on a regular basis in order to function at its highest levels. If the filters are neglected, our consciousness can be altered and our environment can become unhealthy.

Lesson #2 - What kind of environment do you find yourself in?

The thing about unhealthy enviroments is they don't always kill us. My poor fish have been through many ups and downs as far as the condition of my tank is concerned. I have lost two of the group along the way, but it took a lot to take those out. I currently still have two fantailed goldfish the size of an adult fist and a sucky fish named Leo that is as long as the tank is tall. Looking at my fish, you would think they thrived despite circumstances. They have. That doesn't mean that had they consistently had a pristine environment, they would have excelled even more.

Lesson #3 - How has your environment shaped you?

My fish, as previously stated, are huge. They are about out of space to grow in my 10 gallon tank. In order to allow them the freedom to move around, I removed all of the decorations and architectural elements. I would wager that they would continue to grow if I transfered the fish to a bigger tank. We grow only as much as our environments (our minds, beliefs, hearts, souls) allow us to grow. The only people who can limit what we are capable of becoming is ourselves. Change your view of life and you change what you can accomplish.

So...what am I going to do with the lesson provided by my fish? (I guess I should start with changing the filter more often. ;P My fish might like me more).

First, I am going to get a new view on life. It is time to change my filter. As much good has come into my life, I still need to keep working on cleaning up the junk. It will take working harder, but this is not going to kill me. It will be healthy, in fact.

Next, my enviroment is going to undergo scrutiny that leads to action and solid goals (broken down into reachable steps). Focus is going to be placed on what is truly important. The way I use my resources is going to fall in line with my goals and focus.

After all of that (and maybe even some along the way), I am going to jump into bigger tanks. I am going to widen my life and my view of my world.

And throughout the whole process, my fish (hopefully) will have a much happier tank.

Happy swimming everyone! May your tank allow light into your life!

Everything happens for a reason

Everything in your life has a purpose whether or not you are able to recognize it. I have been told that saying "everything happens for a reason" is an excuse. I can see how someone would think that, yet I have to believe they are wrong. I was pondering this while talking to my aunt today. I could have made 10,000 different decisions or had different reactions to events in life. I could be in another place, headed an entirely different direction, in life if I had made different choices. That doesn't change the fact that I am here, at this place and at this time, to learn something. Life has shown me that life repeats until whatever goal has me here and now is met. Usually, it is much harder the next go round though. I don't like everything that has happened in life. I wouldn't change it though. I don't know who I would have become had I made different choices. I don't want to know. I am on a path of being the best version of me I can be. I am seeing worlds open up to me that I never would have thought I was meant to explore first hand.
So call me naive, but I am going to keep on believing. On the good days, it will be a bolster to my confidence. It will serve to console and help keep the faith on the bad days.

What a Facebook status update is/is not...

A Facebook status update is a way to see what is going on in my life or what I am thinking.
A Facebook status update is not a way to keep up with my life without having to take time communicate with me.
If you know more about the my life from my status updates of my blog, you should turn off the computer and pick up a phone.

Relating

Not everyone relates the same or values the same things. This is okay! You can't expect those close to you to mold their lives around your interests. You also can't have a truly strong, stable relationship with someone when you are molding yourself around them. You can be a strong, independent person with amazing relationships. You can enjoy different things from even your closest friends without them having to be in every moment of your life.
Some rougher moments in my life this week have coincided with thinking about Sex and the City this week. What I love about this show is the friendships of four fabulous, strong, unique women. I love how they relate and take care of each other while increasing themselves as part of the process. I love that they have pieces of their lives that aren't as closely tied to the others and pieces that are integral parts of the relationship. I love that they have other relationships that fill roles in their lives that the ladies could but don't always fill for each other.
If I look back over my TV sitcom history, many of my favorite shows have definitely revolved around this theme - Lipstick Jungle, Designing Women, Sisters, The Cashmere Mafia - to name a few top ranked.
That is all I have for now. I have much more I want to say about some life drama, but first I need to finish processing it before I can release it.

Try

There is a nasty little word that tries to creep into my life and affect my thoughts, actions, and speech. This is not profanity. It is far worse. The word is try. Try has a good side. I can be a hopeful little thought to a newbie. Children are great examples of how the good side of this word can be utilized. Try spelling the word, try talking to the new kid, try your peas, etc. For those of us that have a bit more maturity and development in areas, try can be the crutch that keeps you from walking on a stable ankle. Yoda said, "Do or do not, there is no 'try.'" As much as I am banishing this word from my vocabulary, it still slithers in from time to time and becomes an excuse. I did it again today in fact. The word itself holds power for good or evil. We must not allow ourselves to whine "I tried" then give up or become frustrated. By all means, use 'try' if you can move forward in a positive direction and not let it hold you back. However, if you let failing when trying hold you back, wipe that word out of your vocabulary and thinking. Grasp hod of the power you have inside. Tell yourself that you will do and you will succeed.
I thought this poem was well suited for this post.

Try Try Again
by T. H. Palmer

'Tis a lesson you should heed,
If at first you don't succeed,
Try, try again;

Then your courage should appear,
For if you will persevere,
You will conquer, never fear
Try, try again;

Once or twice, though you should fail,
If you would at last prevail,
Try, try again;

If we strive, 'tis no disgrace
Though we do not win the race;
What should you do in the case?
Try, try again

If you find your task is hard,
Time will bring you your reward,
Try, try again

All that other folks can do,
Why, with patience, should not you?
Only keep this rule in view:
Try, try again.

"I'm NO Paula Deen sug."

Paula retweeted, "You have to release your inner cook sugar!"
This made me think (as so much in life does)...maybe I should just copyright that phrase as much as I say it. (Hopping off the rabbit trail now...) Even Paula Deen wasn't Paula Deen when she started. She grew, fought trouble, and learned to become the amazing woman she is today.
Each of us has our own journey, our own fight and our own lessons to learn to become the best versions of ourselves. Who you are today is not who you are tomorrow and not who you were yesterday. BE who you are today and celebrate who that person is. Good or bad, pretty or not looking so cute, you are an amazing symphony of personality, life experiences, truth, and feeling. Sing your song like the diva you are!