First Impressions

Much importance is placed on first impressions. Quite often, the wrong values are used to evaluate during this moment and with an unnecessary amount of judgment. First impressions can be harsh and unforgiving. For a lot of people, the first impression can determine if they are willing to forge a bond with you and what kind of bond they are willing to create. This makes me think of the old adage "You can't judge a book by its cover."
First of all, there is more than one kind of first impression. You have the first time you meet and the first time you get to know a person. If you are to judge on first impressions, you would be far better off judging them off the first time you get to know who they are.
This brings up the thinking that we as humans are continually evolving (or devolving). If you aren't growing, you are dying. Personally I believe that a core remains, with few changes in most people, throughout the process. The essence of the core largely remains the same though regardless of the rest of the changes. You also have to consider the conflict of your history and your present. I spent many years tied to who I was and what happened to me. This is an area where I have begun to see a large change. Yes, my history has helped to mold me to where I am today. No, I am not the sum total of my history. I am more than my history and past actions/reactions. If I can make peace with my past and its place in my life, I can release it to allow new to come in and become who I am meant to be today. Cutting the ties to your past, refusing to let them hold you back, allows you to live a life beyond your wildest dreams. It opens you up to becoming a person you never thought you could be. Much freedom can be found in forgiving and letting go. Our past can teach us lessons and put gems of learned and earned knowledge in our lives that we can carry forward on our journey. That said, how can we judge someone based on a first impression when we are constantly facing change? You really can't.
I have personally experienced this myself. I have a friend who I met years ago through a mutual friend. I did not like him at all at that first meeting. We met again after some time had passed, and we are now friends and have been for several years. If I had reacted based on my first impression, I would be minus a good friend today.
If you are the words come to mind "your loss, not mine," you need to stop right now and tackle that thought. After much life experience, I think that piece of advice is total crap. Some people may not cause too much loss in your life. You should never doubt that when you lose a (potential) relationship, you are losing out. The loss may be worth the gaining of something else, but a loss is a loss is a loss. To ignore a loss is to not allow yourself to heal. Even when losing the most destructive relationships in my life, I have still had to deal with the exit of that relationship from my life. The grief still existed in some degree. Who knows, maybe I am not normal in this matter. I tend to hang on to relationships for long periods of time and have a hard time letting go. I also think that a great person with average physical looks is much more attractive than a physically beautiful yet personality deficient person. People are like icebergs, only 10% of their mass shows above the surface. You have to go underwater to see the other 90% of the iceberg.
So, back to the point of all of this. You can judge someone based on a first impression. That is your choice. I wouldn't consider that to be wise. I prefer taking a deeper look. (That is a line that reminds me of a movie, but I can't think which one right now.)