Look to the small things

I watched the last episode of Lost today *spoiler alert*, and I had a difficult time with the ending of it. I think I saw the end coming. I just kept blocking it out, thinking they surely wouldn't do that. They did. Upon some thinking, I realized my difficulty with the way they choose to end the program. You see, they ended with redemption. I didn't give redemption credit initially due to the fact that it doesn't/I don't let it feel real to me. It has felt real to me in the past. It definitely exists as a possibility, theory, ideal. However, I don't feel joyously redeemed right now.
This got me to thinking about how things that aren't real to us at present, aren't really real to us, and how this affects trying to help others who are dealing with the same thing. We can only truly relate when we can feel their pain/indifference with them without being so mired in the feeling that we can't see or have the hope to be able to find a way out of the junk. That, however, is a topic for another day. Leaving the rabbit's trail now...
The really raw, vunereable point of this laying bare sessions is that we deal with so much in life that we just don't get. For me, it is someone really truly loving me and sticking by me through whatever. Taking into account that humans will fail you at the minimum of once in your life, there are people who will stick by you though even the yuckiest version of yourself. I have people in my life who love me and I love them. If anything serious harm ever came to either of us, we would be there. What happens to the small wounds though? So often, people can dismiss them, excuse them, or simply not see them (purposefully and not). These are the true tests of a relationship and a person. It is so easy to not give these small wounds proper treatment, but that is a grave mistake. A tiny spider bite from the right spider can lead to whole chunks of skin having to be removed due to the rapidly spreading poison. Properly tended, the damage can be contained. The "episode" can become a positive moment in a relationship. Left to fester, the tiny pea under the princess's bed can lead to a irritation, frustration, and eventually termination of a relationship.
I am no angel when it comes to bad behavior in relationships. We have all done our damage to others we are love. So often though, relationships fade, turn sour, or sometimes explode magnicifantly. Don't look at the big events when it comes to those moments. Look to the small stuff. You trust people with the small stuff first. If people prove themselves faithful, you then pull out the big guns. If someone is in need of help, look below the surface. Don't try to save someone who needs redeeming. They most likely have trouble believing someone loves them that much. If someone has problems with anger, look to the hurt in their lives. Start with the small stuff. Remember that the small pebble can either keep you up at night or the grain of sand can become a pearl in an oyster.